This is a strange question isn’t? Most people outside of this kind of communities see BDSM and Kink more as abuse and an obsession with pain, but there is more to it that eye can see.
One of most important thing within a BDSM relationship is this of consent, and it’s the case to couples as much as if you were visiting a professional dominant like a dominatrix.
Some couples use BDSM as a form of erotic/sexual play and others built their entire lives around it in 24/7 bases but consent is still there. Although the dom ‘owns’ the sub, this happens within the boundaries of what everyone feels comfortable and willing to do and no one should break these boundaries without negotiation. Even during play, with the use of safe words the whole thing can end immediately or become less intense with the use of safe words.
BDSM can become a beautiful way of dealing with trauma. We have heard stories from how victims of abuse use kink as their big F you to their abusers. The sense of control that with their safe word everything will stop seems to be very therapeutic for them. The aftercare, with different creams, cuddles and ice cream gives them a sense of security in their partner’s embrace.
Trauma is a funny thing and as it affects every person in a different way, every person deals with it in a different way as well. Although not all people that are into BDSM are traumatized it remains a valid way to deal with trauma in your own unique way that’s a bit off the norma but beautiful nevertheless