Positive thinking is everywhere around us. Celebrities, gurus and coaches of all sorts quote positive thinking as one of the key factors for their success and subsequently yours. While I don’t necessary disagree with this, in my life many times I was able to see what’s wrong around me and developed a habit of pointing out. From one side I know this is a trauma response, my subconscious wants to keep me safe and getting fixated on what is wrong or potentially dangerous around me is a way to risk manage and prevent harm, both physically and emotionally. Being an electrician by trade, risk managing all the time is also something I do because if something goes wrong people can be seriously harmed.
This was until I first read When The Body Says No by Gabor Mate where he talks about the power of negative thinking. Not by slugging off the concept of positive thinking but highlighting how important is for us to be able to also think negatively.
In the chapter with the same title Dr Mate says, In order to heal, it is essential to gather the strength to think negatively. Negative thinking is not a doleful, pessimistic view that masquerades as “realism.” Rather, it is a willingness to consider what is not working. What is not in balance? What have I ignored? What is my body saying no to? Without these questions, the stresses responsible for our lack of balance will remain hidden (p 302)
This is one of the dangers of the whole positive thinking industry to my opinion. If we only think positively or try to, we will miss seeing what doesn’t work and do something about it.
Negative thinking allows us to see not only the injustices in our world but also our own short comings and traumas, and then we will have the opportunity do something about it. Going into therapy is part of this ‘do something about it’.
Negative thinking is a negative term (dah!) but we if we handle it properly can help us to grow as people and start overcoming our own difficult situations. When we encounter negative experiences, setbacks, or obstacles, they highlight the aspects of our lives that we may want of need to improve. This contrast pushes us to take action, setting us on a path of personal growth and self-improvement. Embracing negative thinking is a catalyst for change, we get motivated to make positive adjustments and strive for a better future.
Negativity often tests our resilience and challenges our character. The power of negative thinking will force us to confront adversity head-on, pushing us beyond our comfort zones and exposing us to uncomfortable situations. However, it is through these challenging experiences that we cultivate resilience and character. Being able to identify what’s wrong around us is an opportunity to develop coping mechanisms, problem-solving skills, and emotional intelligence. As we navigate and overcome the crap thrown our way, we become better equipped to handle future challenges.
Negative thinking will help us become more self-aware which can lead to personal growth. In the face of a difficult situation our ability to see the negative will help us to examine our own thoughts, behaviours and beliefs. This will allow us to identify areas in ourselves that need improvement, uncover negative patterns and challenge our own limitations. It allows us to confront our own weaknesses and embrace the discomfort that change will bring.
The biggest win of embracing the power of negative thinking though is that we are actually embracing thinking holistically. When we get fixated on thinking positively only, we risk walking into the territory of toxic positivity of which we will explore in another article along with its dangers.
Non toxic and genuine positive thinking starts when we are able to see the world around us as it is. With all the good and the bad that is in it and then we can do something about it!